


maybe it's the heat in here

by sapphicTechnician



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Crack, M/M, mentions of Eren/Levi and Jean/Mikasa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:03:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicTechnician/pseuds/sapphicTechnician
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I'm not gay," Jean tells him.</i>
</p><p>  <i>"Your dick was in my ass," Eren points out. "You're a little gay."</i></p><p>Or how Eren and Jean are definitely, completely, totally virgins, copious amounts of ridiculous sex with each other notwithstanding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe it's the heat in here

**Author's Note:**

> For the SNK kinkmeme prompt found [here](http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/8414.html?thread=7915486#cmt7915486).

"I'm not gay," Jean tells him.  
  
"Your dick was in my ass," Eren points out. "You're a little gay."  
  
\--but that's not where it starts, or even where it ends. It starts with summer heat and it ends the same way, but what's in between is all that really matters.  
  
~  
  
It starts with summer heat, sticky and stifling. Eren's pissed. Eren's always a little pissed these days, kinda feels like a default state, but this is different. This is the kind of frustration that leaves him biting his pillow at night while his hand works beneath the sheet, coming in great shuddering gasps that he'll blame on nightmares if anyone asks. Not that they will; Eren lives in a barracks full of randy teenagers and at this point masturbation is pretty much par for the course. It's like taking a shit -- everyone does it and everyone knows that everyone does it but that doesn't mean that it's a general topic of conversation.  
  
Except for Levi. Which circles right back around to why Eren's starting to feel like a damn kettle someone's forgotten to take off the boil. Levi, who asks him if he's constipated when he's ten minutes late to training and is also the only person in the entire damn Scouting Legion who appears entirely unaffected by the heat and still dresses in full uniform each and every day. No one _has_ to. There was even a fucking memo about it, something about the concern of heat stroke when wearing a shit-ton of leather and heavy equipment. Which in turn means that from Mikasa (who shed her scarf and cloak and reluctantly switched to a tank top in lieu of her uniform shirt) to Reiner (who quite possibly made history as the first person to complete a speed run clad only in the 3DMG harness and a pair of boxer shorts which became distinctly see-through after his foray through the water obstacle), every single person Eren sees over the course of a day is missing at least a few articles of clothing.  
  
Except for Levi. Meaning that Eren's still stuck with nothing more than his fantasy of what might be hiding under that pressed cravat and ass-cupping pants, and that fantasy is rapidly becoming less satisfying. He's going to go absolutely insane if he doesn't get some relief soon, he knows, and he's starting to worry that said relief is going to come in the form of just fucking giving up and pouncing Levi in a supply closet somewhere. Not that he could. Which means that crazy's his only option. Here lies Eren fucking Yeager, Humanity's Last Hope, killed by blue balls.  
  
Which is why on this particular summer night, sticky and stifling, Eren's hiding out in the stables. No one can sleep and he's pretty frustrated, sure, but he's not gonna just jerk it with everyone around and trust that he can be stealthy. So it's just him, his imagination, and an empty stall tonight.  
  
Well.  
  
It _was_ empty. Long enough for Eren to get his cock in his hands and get a few good strokes in, eyes half-closed as he imagines long callused fingers that smell of laundry soap. Long enough for his reflexes to be just a little dulled so when the half-door swings open to admit a familiar lanky blonde he's still and silent for a good few moments before his hands fly to cover himself and he doubles over, suddenly bright crimson. Oh god, and it's _Jean_ , and why did it have to be Jean of all people? He braces himself for the scorn, frantically tucking himself back in, tongue-tied with the worst case of embarrassment he's ever had.  
  
"You know," Jean says, voice a little hesitant and an unreadable expression on his face. Eren steels himself.  
  
"This kind of gives me an idea."  
  
~  
  
It's not actually the worst idea he's ever had.  
  
~  
  
"That," Jean says after, lying on his back in the prickly straw, still breathing hard, "was possibly the best idea I've ever had."  
  
"I won't argue that," Eren says and the problem is that he kind of means it like an insult and it kind of comes out like a compliment. He's propped up against the wall, less than a foot from where he wiped Jean's come off his hand onto the slatted wooden boards. It's a little gross and he feels like he should...move, or wash his hands, or something, but the fact of the matter remains that he feels like he's floating on a cloud right now and moving would just take so much effort.  
  
Who would've thought it would feel so different? One handjob, he's always figured is pretty much like another. Doesn't really matter whose hand it is. But he'd been so desperate and Jean had, for once in his life, actually been making sense.  
  
"The way I see it," he'd said, "is that maybe we can just...burn it off. Like you. Everyone knows you've got a massive fucking hard-on for the Corporal, literally--"  
  
"That was _one time_ \--"  
  
"Whatever, Yeager, I'm not judging." Which Eren was pretty sure is a fucking lie, by the way. "And I just..." he'd hesitated and Eren had seen his blush even in the dim light, fire across his cheeks, "I've never. You know. And Reiner and Ymir were joking about it the other day, like how if you hadn't fucked someone by this age, and I kinda...said some stuff. That wasn't, you know, a hundred percent true. So maybe this could be...mutually beneficial. Just a one-time thing. You can burn off some steam, I can...get some experience."  
  
"Wait," Eren had said. "Hang on. Did you just call my dick _massive_?"  
  
And that had been when Jean had made a frustrated inarticulate noise and flung himself forwards. Which, once Eren figured out that Jean wasn't actually trying to punch him in the crotch, was kind of not as bad as he'd thought it would be. Really, really not as bad. Jean's fingers were pretty rough and he hadn't known what to do with his face so he just kinda stared at the ground the whole time but Eren had almost come in the first thirty seconds, blown away by the myriad of new sensations. It had been, okay, good. So fucking good in fact that it had seemed totally natural to reach over and tug at Jean's pants, fumble open the drawstring tie and fumble out something which totally backed up his 'Jean is part horse' theory. He wasn't sure how good of a job he'd done but Jean certainly hadn't been complaining, gasping in strangled breaths instead and bucking his hips forward and if the name on his lips when he came explosively into Eren's hand was _Mikasa_ , well, Eren could let it go for just that once.  
  
And that brings them back to now, the awkwardness starting to settle in again. Jean's quiet. Eren wonders if he regrets it. He's kind of surprised to find that he doesn't. It was good -- okay, fine, it was fucking amazing, he didn't even know it could feel like that -- and he's surprised to find that the thing he's most upset about, other than the fact that there's straw in unmentionable places, is that it's over. Which was the whole point of course, just a one time thing, but...  
  
Just a one-time thing.  
  
One time.

And then back to his hand, his imagination, and an empty stall.

 

 

  
Well, fuck _that_.  
  
"Hey," he says, and Jean turns to him like he's expecting anger or embarrassment but to be completely honest Eren's not even sure what he's feeling right now, all he knows is that his tongue is running away with him and he can't figure out how to get the reins back. "You know you're still a virgin, right?" Jean sputters something that Eren doesn't quite catch. "No, I mean it. Handjobs don't count. There's no..." his words desert him for a moment and he's forced to mime something that could be Titan-stabbing but really really isn't, "well, you know. So."  
  
"So," Jean says, and suddenly there's a sparkle in his eye. "You saying we gotta try again?"  
  
"I'm saying we gotta try again."  
  
"Tomorrow?"  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
~  
  
It's tomorrow.  
  
"So that...that didn't work at all." Jean's voice is a little strained. Eren kind of knows how he feels. "Were we, I don't know, doing it wrong?"  
  
Eren sinks back into the straw. "It's probably a training thing," he hypothesizes while his hand creeps over towards the other boy entirely of its own volition. Jean's not wearing any pants. His hand is very happy about that. "You know, like something you have to work up to. We just need more practice."  
  
"More practice," Jean says. His head is tilted back against the wall. His eyes flutter half-shut, fingers opening and closing on air next to him. His breathing hitches. Eren's fingers are teasingly light. "I think I can... _mmm_...live with that."  
  
Funny thing is, Eren kinda thinks so too.  
  
~  
  
It's a week later the first time Jean pins him up against a tree (the stables are occupied; neither of them admitted to recognizing the stifled grunts and moans from their usual stall but both of them will look a little differently at Reiner and Bertolt from now on) and sucks him off. Eren knows what a blowjob is, of course, he's not _stupid_ , but holy fucking shit on a cracker nothing could have prepared him for the way his world collapses into stars and how his knees go so weak that he thinks he would fall if he didn't have Jean's shoulders to grab, fingers tangling up into Jean's hair as he bucks his hips into Jean's mouth. For the first while he tries to picture Levi, immaculate and kneeling, lapping at his cock but the image keeps sliding away and it doesn't matter anyway.  
  
He comes harder than he ever has. Jean gags; Eren instantly feels bad as the other boy coughs and spits semen into the dirt. "I'm sorry," he says, reaching out to vaguely pat at Jean's back through the afterglow, "Fuck, man, you okay?"  
  
Jean spits again, and glares up at him through a fringe of blonde. There's no real heat to it. "You fuckin' owe me, Yeager."  
  
"Well," Eren says. He's catching his breath. "I bet I can think of something."  
  
~  
  
Jean comes on his face. Eren has to spend the wee hours of the morning washing his hair with a bucket of water that shouldn't be as cold as it is considering the outside temperature while Jean laughs himself sick.  
  
"Still doesn't count," Eren reminds him.  
  
Jean doesn't really seem to care.

~

The first time it sort of counts happens almost by accident. Half the group is off on a training exercise and the other half are trying desperately to beat the heat by sleeping outside. Eren and Jean have the barracks to themselves and it's such a novel feeling that they take things slower than they have been, Jean sucking Eren off almost leisurely until he shudders with pleasure and arches his back up into Jean's chest. He's half-humming with delight when Jean stops and slips off the bed in a fluid backwards motion, leaving Eren squawking and alone and hard as fucking iron without nothing but his own hand for comfort. And there's no way in hell he's going back to _that_. Not yet, anyway.  
  
"Fucking horseface _bastard_ ," he seethes, and he's just thinking about getting up and going after him when Jean reappears. There's something in his hand, a bottle of some kind. Plain earthenware. And Jean, bless his little cotton socks and his phenomenal fucking mouth, is _blushing_.  
  
"I talked to Bertl," he mutters as he slides back under the thin sheet. "I didn't -- he doesn't know about, about this, or anything. But he told some stuff." Stuff about the absolute necessity of lube apparently and Eren's really not complaining given how their first time went, and especially not complaining when Jean slips in a finger and oh holy shit that's _weird_.  
  
There's a lot of fumbling and swearing and adjustments on both sides before they finally start to figure out a rhythm, before Jean starts to figure out how to move and what feels good. After that the learning curve is damn steep and it's a matter of minutes before Eren's biting the pillow so hard he wonders that he's cracked a tooth but doesn't give a shit because oh god, holy fuck, holy fuck, _there_. It's like the first time all over again. It's _better_.  
  
He lies spent and gasping on the mattress while Jean goes to wash his hands. He can't really think about moving right now. When Jean returns and starts poking at him, wanting him to move off the stained sheet, he groans a protest but sits up slowly.  
  
"So?" Jean looks at him blankly, and Eren elaborates. "How's it feel? To not be a virgin."  
  
"Oh." There's a pregnant pause. "...I don't think fingers count."  
  
Eren lets himself fall back again, narrowly missing the headboard. That's okay. Even a concussion couldn't kill this buzz. "Shit," he says, unable to control the grin rising on his lips. "I guess we gotta keep working at it."  
  
"Guess so," Jean replies. "Next time, you're trying."  
  
~  
  
He learns faster than Jean does.  
  
(well -- Jean says it's because he's already experienced it so he already kind of knows, but Eren's pretty sure it's just because he's a giant badass)  
  
"Fuck _me_ ," Jean says afterwards. He looks kind of dazed. He keeps trying to focus on Eren's face and not being able to. Eren thinks it's the most hilarious thing he's even seen, and also maybe the cutest.  
  
"No shit" he says. "I just did."  
  
"Just fingers," Jean tells the mattress. His eyes are sliding shut. "We'll get it, though." A jaw-cracking yawn. "One of these days."  
  
~  
  
It's almost a letdown.  
  
Oh, not the sex. No, the sex is fucking fantastic -- and he thought fingers were good, holy shit, having Jean inside of him is a whole other _level_ of mind-blowing, a little strange at first, a little painful, and then it was like something had clicked and suddenly they were moving in tandem and Eren was getting fucked, the true meaning of the word, hard and fast until his whole world is the feeling of Jean's cock slamming into him and the way Jean's making these little desperate noises, or maybe that's Eren, or both of them, and how he comes so hard and so violently he honestly thinks for a moment that he's going to die right there on the floor of the communal showers.  
  
No, the letdown is after. They're showering with what feels like liquid ice, laughing quietly as they duck in and out of the spray, the only heat they need in each other's fingers and breath and Jean says something about "Fucking _finally_ ," and the realization hits Eren like a Titan swatting him out of the sky: they're done.  
  
Mission fucking accomplished.  
  
It...doesn't feel the way it should. It doesn't feel good and he turns away from Jean covers himself awkwardly. Jean's hand is heavy on his shoulder, Jean wanting to know what's wrong but Eren can't even begin to know how to say this. _Hi, you know how we've been fooling around for a month trying to lose our virginity because both of us want other people but now that we finally have I think maybe I just want to keep going?_  
  
God, he's such an idiot. He's such an idiot that he almost misses Jean speaking, keeping his voice pitched low on the off chance that someone's up but still firm, strong, like he doesn't even understand what Eren would have to be upset about. "This isn't over, you know."  
  
"What?" Eren genuinely doesn't understand. "But you..." and oh my god he can't even say it, this guy has literally just fucked him raw and he can't even make himself say it, "Well. You're not a virgin anymore." He smiles. It feels hollow. "Congratulations."  
  
"Fuck that," Jean says. It's quick and dismissive. "Man, you gotta do it too. It doesn't count unless we both top."  
  
"...you want to keep going?"  
  
Jean's blushing again, red blooming in his cheeks. "It's not like that," he snaps. "I'm not gay."  
  
"Your dick was in my ass," Eren shoots back. "You're a little gay."  
  
" _You're_ pretty gay," Jean mutters, which startles a laugh out of Eren and then before he knows it Jean's laughing too, a little sheepishly. "Anyway, that's not what I meant. I just wanna do this right, you know? Which means you gotta fuck me too."  
  
"Shouldn't you buy me dinner first?" But Eren's smiling now and the awkward feelings are melting away because hey, they're not done yet. It's not over 'till it's over. They've got some time yet.  
  
And he'll make it worthwhile.  
  
~  
  
"I'm not saying it wasn't _good_ \--"  
  
"Of course you're not, it was fucking amazing, I am a _stud_ \--"  
  
"I'm just saying I don't think it counts if you don't come."  
  
Wash, rinse, repeat.  
  
~  
  
The next time they both come but they're in a supply closet and when Eren's back arches and his head goes back he knocks it against a broom, which knocks against one of bottles of terrifying clear liquid Levi makes them use to clean the latrines, the stuff that they dilute two dropperfuls to a pail of water. It goes everywhere and by the time they manage to stuff themselves back into their uniforms and stumble out into the corridor neither of them can breathe properly and Eren is willing to swear on his life that the walls are undulating smoothly to an unheard beat.  
  
They both agree that there's no way it counts if both parties spend twelve hours after the fact high as kites and hallucinating.  
  
"Next time," Jean says from his perch on top of Sasha's bunk. "Also, I think the floor is on fire."  
  
~  
  
They go almost a day thinking that they've actually done it -- no excuses, no screwups, no nothing -- and moping about before Reiner pulls Eren into a side corridor with a huge shit-eating grin on his face and asks if he knew that there's a peephole between the equipment shed and the latrines on the other side. "Not that I'd ever say anything," he says jovially, "but, you know, you two might wanna look to where you're going for 'training'." The quotation marks drop neatly into place and Eren has never been so simultaneously overjoyed and embarrassed in his life.  
  
"Losing your virginity has to be private," he points out to Jean that night, fumbling at his fly. "It's like...a fucking _rule_."  
  
"A fucking rule," Jean says, and snorts. And then gasps, low and slow, and moans and his hands come to Eren's face, his hair, and this at least they know: blowjobs definitely, totally, for sure don't count.  
  
~  
  
Interruptions don't count either, of course. The moment has to be right.  
  
"Look," Reiner says, patiently untangling the 3DMG line. "I'm not saying what you guys are doing isn't okay or anything like that. I'm just saying...this is the sixth time I've caught you. Man, it's called _discretion_."  
  
"Mm," Eren says. Jean doesn't say anything. His jaw is slack, his expression blank.  
  
"...but I have to admit," Reiner adds, "The look on the Commander's face was pretty stunning. So, you know. Thanks for that."  
  
"Kill me," Jean squeaks. Reiner claps him on the shoulder.  
  
"Maybe later, champ. This wire ain't gonna get itself off your junk."  
  
~  
  
The question comes up when the whole squad is deep into several bottles of cheap wine and someone's decided that truth-or-dare drinking games are the only way to make the night a truly good time. They make it to the third question before sex comes up, which is probably a new record.  
  
"So truth, Eren," Connie says and Eren knows it's coming just by the look on the kid's face. "Are you a virgin?"  
  
Eren opens his mouth. Shuts it again. He's vaguely aware that the hum of conversation around him is stuttering to a halt, people trading uneasy glances. Sitting at his left, Jean's lips are pressed together so tightly that they've gone all thin and white. There's a feeling like people holding their breath. Eren's heart skips a beat, scrambles in his chest for a moment. He doesn't know what to say. He's -- well, he _is_ , but--  
  
And then Jean glances up, meets his eyes. Smiles. It's enough. Eren grabs the bottle in front of him, takes a long swig and comes up grinning. "Sure am," he says.  
  
Connie makes a strangled noise. "Hey, you can't _lie_ ," he yelps.  
  
Eren shrugs. "I'm not lying."  
  
Connie stares at him, something a little haunted in his eyes. "I saw you guys on top of one of the fake Titans," he says almost mournfully.  
  
"In the stables," Armin agrees, blushing like a fire hydrant.  
  
"In my _bunk_ ," Krista adds.  
  
"On the breakfast table."  
  
"In the stream."  
  
"In my bunk too."  
  
"That time at the banquet..."  
  
"On the _breakfast_ table."  
  
"In the infirmary."  
  
"Behind the latrines."  
  
" _In_ the latrines."  
  
"People _eat_ there."  
  
"Doesn't matter." Eren's still smiling. Jean's next to him and there's a hand resting on his knee, now, a hand that Eren knows pretty fucking intimately. And maybe it's the wine, but maybe it's just having Jean warm at his side that makes him lean over, brush a kiss to the taller boy's lips. Their first one.  
  
Well, there's a first time for everything. "Doesn't matter," he repeats. "Doesn't count."  
  
~  
  
Eren loses his virginity that night. Jean has to wait until the night after (which Eren is totally blaming on the wine, by the way, definitely not his fault, nothing he could do) but in the end it's perfect anyway, summer warmth in the night air and not a single interruption. After, they lie together and breathe.  
  
"Did it count?" Eren asks, drowsy with sex and heat. He's lying sprawled across Jean's chest and he can hear Jean's heartbeat, or maybe that's his own.  
  
"Does it matter?" Jean asks back, one hand carding through Eren's hair.  
  
And Eren thinks, maybe, that's the real answer right there.


End file.
